Why is it when I go on “vacation” I take along three books, 10 magazines, an empty legal pad, four pens, an iPod, the iPad AND the laptop?

I suppose it’s the same reason that when I belly up to a food buffet my plate is overflowing and I really belly up to that buffet two or three times.

If I’m going somewhere for a week, for example, I’m always thinking I will have so much “free time” that I stuff the briefcase full of all kinds of things that are piling up around the house.

Of course I’ll get to those three books on vacation, because if I don’t, that will only add to my bookshelves of other tomes stacked there labeled “Yet to read.”

And that six-week-old Sports Illustrated likely contains plenty of old news that I already know, but my life will be forever changed if I get to those feature stories. After all, knowing the history of Kevin Durant’s career and his quest for a NBA championship just might make a difference in my life’s outlook.

Heck, I plan an extended weekend trip to Rocky Point and the car looks as if I’m taking a cross-country trip.

Cooler? Check. Water? Check. Extra underwear? Check. Three books and 10 magazines? Check. Five different kinds of shoes and sandals? Check. Two changes of clothes per day and a couple more just in case? Check. Five pairs of swimming trunks? Check. Sunscreen? Check. Did I pack those extra underwear? Check.

What’s that, officer? Passport? Dang, that’s one thing I forgot to pack…

Some trips are more productive than others when it comes to “free time.” Certain vacations are more structured and could contain a bunch of planned activities, whereas those Rocky Point trips center around eating, frolicking on the beach and drinking time (if you hold off on the drinking time for a bit, it might help you plow through those 10 magazines).

Still, I typically come back from most trips with eight magazines, two books yet to read and hundreds of e-mails to check.

How does that happen?

Well, time certainly does seem to go much quicker on a trip than it does during a regular work week, doesn’t it? In your head you’re thinking there is plenty of time to do all kinds of fun stuff AND read those three books, but Father Time has a nasty habit of playing tricks with your mind concerning vacations.

Those eight hours sitting around talking with mom and having a cookout with relatives you haven’t seen in a while sure fly by a lot faster than that work day chained to your desk and computer…

You have to lug all that stuff around, however, especially if your vacation includes some time at the airport. You have to put on the appearances, at least, that you are hip and “plugged in” to the latest gadgets and technology and electronic devices.

In the end, however, it’s the same ol’ story.

In my iPad see there are three books to read in my “iBooks” and 10 magazines waiting in the “Newsstand.”

Crap.

I’ll never get done.