You failed!

I’ve heard this repeatedly now for weeks, and frankly it’s getting a bit old.

Yet, believe it or not, I signed up for this abuse.

Every once in a while a piece of candy is thrown my way, and like those little hunched-over grandmas drawn to smoke-filled bingo rooms, I keep coming back for more (just without a bucket full of daubers).

Must be the sugar rush I get after I come down from the morning caffeine fix.

The shame of it all.

I’m talking, of course, about Candy Crush Saga.

No doubt those of us who utilize modern-day technology owe a huge debt of gratitude to Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and countless other computer geeks for their humanitarian and economic contributions.

Their various inventions, dreams, goals and machinations have improved our lives greatly and expanded our business productivity and efficiency to immeasurable depths.

And, more realistically, we are now able to sit around playing non-sensical games on our iPads, “smart” phones and computers until our butts start hurting and go numb from non-movement.

I resisted for a long time, watching my as-of-yet un-named co-workers playing this “candy” game I wasn’t too familiar with.

But going back to the casino analogy, the bright lights, the explosions, the movement, the colors, the music, the challenges – they all drew me in during a weak moment one evening as I spent the 99 cents and downloaded the app.

Delicious!

It’s akin to dropping that $20 bill into the slot machine and never giving up until the coins just come shooting out and piling up on the floor (of course, with electronic “credits” on slot machines now being the mainstay, you can’t even get your fingers all black anymore with a bucket full of coins).

On the gaming spectrum, I haven’t really advanced much past playing Pac-Man at the video arcades back in my college days. I wasn’t that good way back then (despite all the $5 bills I dropped into the change machines), so my gaming skills haven’t really progressed through the decades like my awesome typing skills.

Candy Crush Saga keeps beckoning, keeps tempting me to come back for more. On a certain level it’s cheap and easy entertainment – there really isn’t too much strategy involved or need for deep thinking and planning. There is an element of luck as well.

Sweet!

But, I’m only on level 51, and each level seems to take longer and longer to crack the code and get a sugar crush.

One guy at work whose name rhymes with Luke is on level 200 something.

This does not bode well for me, because I think I’ll develop diabetes long before I get that high in the sugar zone.

I guess I could go back to reading books, writing that great American novel and researching the cure for cancer.

But wait….I just got a notification from Candy Crush Saga on my iPad that my “full lives” have been restored.

Sweet!

It’s off to candy land I go, in search of that elusive sprinkled chocolate donut.

Tasty!