Took a peek into my crystal ball at my first doctor’s visit under Medicare for all. Finally found a doctor and I guess he’ll do, he had a small practice in Timbuctu. Said he really likes practicing here and could even get his license in the next few years.

Now tell me what's wrong and if you have any pain and make it quick, no need to complain. I have this pain in my chest and it hurts when I swallow. Oops, your time is up, you should feel better tomorrow. Come on doc, how about an exam, I Know you’re just practicing but do what you can. He put his ear to my back and my chest and it sounds fine, now get some rest. Hey doc I said with a joke, did you ever think of getting a stethescope. You mean that gizmo you stick in your ears? If I ever get paid maybe I’ll get one next year.

I’d like a blood pressure check and also my blood. Oops, my machine is out and so is Dr. Flood. Who the heck is Dr. Flood? He’s the guy who takes your blood. He’s really a very nice guy but he has double vision in both of his eyes. Not to worry, we have Dr. Pain, who patches you up after Flood punctures your veins.

You’ll have to leave now and there’s never a fee but I have 100 patients I have to see. So have a nice day and give me five and I’ll see you next year if you’re still alive.