Dear President Obama, please call the president of Mexico and tell him that my wife and I will be moving to Mexico along with our extended family.

We simply plan to walk across the border since we don’t want to be bothered with passports, visas or any of that other stuff. Tell him that we will expect free medical care, food stamps, rent subsidies and other forms of financial assistance.

We will be enrolling our grandkids in your school and expect you to have bilingual teachers to help our kids overcome the language barrier. I plan to get a Mexican driver’s license and will expect all government and state forms to be in English since we don’t plan on learning your language anytime soon.

I plan on getting a job or opening a business but don’t want to pay any taxes, although I may apply for tax credits at the end of the year. Be sure to tell the Mexican president to notify the police and tell them to be kind to us, not to racially profile us, or they will be severely punished.

However, we do plan on using the racial profiling card if we get stopped by the police for any reason. This is an easy request since we do that for all his people who are here illegally and also for the new arrivals who come across the not-so-secure border illegally.

Hope this letter didn’t interfere with your golf game, vacations, fundraisers with the one percent or your ongoing campaigns to rally up your base.