Leadership: what is a leader? A leader could be a parent, a teacher, a boss or even just a person leading a small group of 13. I always have looked at myself as a leader in my own mind but I also have had a taste of reality these past few months.

I just completed my eight-week journey through the leadership academy. This was a great opportunity for me to go into establishments and landmarks of Fountain Hills and learn how they are run and meet the people behind the scenes that keep things going in this town.

My group, the second graduating class, was a group of business owners as well as residents who want to learn more about the town and just be more involved. We all shared our stories in the first week about who we are. This was actually where I realized I have a hard time with public speaking.

I always had this problem dating back to school but I also thought I outgrew it. When my father asked if I would like the opportunity to take on the role of Times publisher I was hesitant because I knew there would be times I may have to stand in front of a group.

I thought about it for a few days and then called my dad and said yes, I can do this. We talked about how this adjustment would happen. As we told The Times staff during our last holiday party, I had to stand up and say something to the group. My dad made the announcement and it was my turn to stand in front of a staff I have known for years; then it happened.

My chest filled up like a balloon and everything I was going to say was forgotten. I said maybe three sentences and sat down. I was disappointed in myself but I said to myself to learn from it and move on.

Confidence in myself is something I lack. My step father, Bob Sternfels, used to tell me this: Bob always said that he saw so much potential in me as I have a strong presence when I walk into a room. I might be a big guy but I also am not the type who likes all the attention on me.

Orientations for the leadership academy took place at the Community Center. We were all asked to say a few things about ourselves in front of the group. I said a few brief things and stepped aside.

Graduation night for the academy also reminded me of my problem. Tom Lindsey, who was a part of the leadership group recognized this and asked if I would like to join Toastmasters and work on my fear.

I went to my first meeting this past Wednesday. I can see how the upcoming months will help me to react faster to comments and speaking in front of a group. As the first meeting came to an end I stood up and said with a nervous voice that I would be back next week. I look forward to what the meeting will help me with.

Public speaking is a fear many of us have. As I stood up at Toastmasters and told the group I felt uncomfortable in these situations, someone said “We all do.”

We all do is right. People take charge in their own ways and some are more outgoing than others but we are all the same when it comes to public speaking, some just learn to overcome the fear earlier than others. I hope to change this part of me now.

Confidence in yourself is everything to achieve your goals. I have always thought I was a man who had all the confidence in the world but I also realized how small I was to the world when it came to public speaking.

Nobody is better than the other person and we find our way eventually in life to move forward in what we are meant to do.

I see individuals on TV or even in person who carry themselves really well with a great speech or just talking to a group. My plan for now is to take it week by week and learn from Toastmasters.