Trump speaks for me. Here’s why: I admire Vladimir Putin. He’s very strong and I would believe him over any American any day. I enjoy publicly aping and mocking people with disabilities. It makes me feel better than them.

So does insulting and bullying people in general, and demeaning women’s physical attributes. Grabbing women by the private parts? Very manly! Vilifying entire ethnicities or countries? What could be more American?

I do not like losing. If I lose, or it looks like I might lose, I cry “cheaters!” and “very unfair.” Poor pitiful me. I talk big, and get others to act for me. The people around me must be loyal only to me, and not to any stupid oath, Constitution or ethical code (those are for suckers). I don’t watch any news that doesn’t agree with me or read books, because being narrow minded and ignorant keeps life simple. Uncomfortable evidence and facts have been faked by an invisible conspiracy; things for which there is no proof must be true if Trump says they are.

I sure can’t take a joke or criticism, because those are vicious. Yes, Trump speaks for me.