A black man dies while in police custody and suddenly the City of Baltimore erupts onto our television screens. Peaceful demonstrations were suddenly overwhelmed by images of looters, buildings burning and youngsters throwing rocks.

The immediate reaction of some would have been, “There go those (expletive) black people again.” Others thought of social issues like lack of jobs, poor housing, AWOL fathers. Law and order on one side; bleeding hearts on the other. Sound familiar?

With the indictment of six police officers calm has settled over the city. The courts have taken over. But, will anything change? Hopefully “yes,” but I have my doubts. Like the alcoholic who has to admit an addiction before he or she can receive help, “we,” the citizens of this country, must admit a them-versus-us attitude does exist whether it takes the form of an anti-black, anti-Hispanic, anti-gay or anti-Muslim frame of mind.

“But, we have nothing in common.”

And so, with this “outside my comfort zone” rationalization whites go their way and “those other people” go theirs with the most significant difference being one side controls most of the power, leading the other side to feel isolated, ignored.

Prejudice and racism are ugly words typically related to “not knowing.” Not knowing people whose skin color or ethnic background or religious belief or sexual orientation is different. Busy people continue to stay busy doing whatever they do while those who are indeed intolerant are allowed to define the playing field. Manipulate the agenda.

Sitting pensively at my desk and staring out the window I remember a time when a handshake meant trust and respect. We need more handshakes and looking people in the eye and a lot less judging from a distance.