For many families, the new school year is still a few weeks away, but preparations have already begun, from school supply shopping and teacher assignments to figuring out if last year’s sneakers still fit.

As the big day nears, so do big feelings.

While some kids are eager to reunite with friends or meet a new teacher, others may feel anxious about changing routines, unfamiliar classrooms or what the year ahead might bring. Even children who seem excited to go back may quietly carry worries they struggle to express.

That is normal.

The transition back to school is about more than supplies and schedules. It is also an opportunity for parents and caregivers to pay attention to emotional well-being and create routines that help children feel supported, confident and prepared.

Preparation
One of the most important places to start is sleep.

Summer often brings later bedtimes and slower mornings, so shifting back to a school schedule may feel abrupt. Rather than changing routines overnight, families can begin adjusting bedtimes now, moving sleep and wake times a little earlier, in 15- to 30-minute increments.

For younger children, practicing the school morning routine ahead of time can ease anxiety. Getting dressed, eating breakfast, packing backpacks and heading out the door helps create predictability, which often helps children feel more secure.

It can also help to empower children through small choices. Children have little control over many parts of the school experience. So, offering age-appropriate choices, such as picking a lunch, backpack or first-day outfit, can help restore a sense of control during a season of change.

Anxiety
For children experiencing anxiety, familiarity often helps reduce fear.

Even children who thrive academically may feel nervous about returning to school, especially during transition years such as middle school, high school or a new campus. Parents can help by exposing their child to the new school before the first day. Attend orientation events, walk the halls, locate classrooms and identify support people such as the school counselor or nurse so your child knows there is someone on campus to ask for help if needed.

In addition, connect with other parents with same-age children and coordinate a time to introduce them to each other. This feeling of connectedness helps ease nerves. For younger children, creating schedules using pictures versus words on a page may provide helpful structure and reduce uncertainty as well.

It is also important to remember that anxiety itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Feeling nervous before something new is part of life and can even motivate preparation. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety but to help children recognize, understand and manage it.

Once school begins, some children may continue to struggle with the adjustment. Objects, such as a friendship bracelet, small keepsake or sensory sticker on a folder, may help children feel grounded during the day. For neurodiverse children or those with diagnosed anxiety disorders, returning to school may feel especially overwhelming, and working with your child’s school to create an individualized support plan can help ease the transition. 

Opening Up
Parents also often wonder how to get children to talk about what is happening at school.

Rather than forcing conversation, look for natural opportunities to check in, such as during a car ride, over dinner or while sharing an after-school treat. Asking questions about lunch, friendships or funny moments often sparks more meaningful conversations than simply asking, “How was school?”

As children move into middle and high school, social experiences become more complicated, and they may share less voluntarily. During this time, it becomes increasingly important to stay connected, know their friends and remain attentive to changes in mood or behavior.

If a child comes home saying they do not like their teacher or classmates, listen before trying to fix the problem. Validate feelings and ask questions to better understand what is driving the concern. Sometimes it is adjustment to change. Other times, social anxiety, friendship challenges or learning struggles may be contributing. If distress continues, reaching out to the teacher or school counselor can help provide context and support.

Funda Bachini, MD, is the division chief of psychiatry at Phoenix Children’s. For more information, visit www.phoenixchildrens.org