Joyce C. Loder

Joyce C. Loder, born Gioia Clara Culley, passed into eternity on May 10, 2018 at the age of 88 years old at Banner Desert Medical Center in Mesa. She lived in Fountain Hills for about 10 years. Her resting place will be at Greenwood Memory Lawn in Phoenix.

She is survived by her daughter Nancy Damone, (Larry Arbanas); son, Ron Oberbeck; daughter-in-law, Grace Oberbeck, grandsons, Mark Degroot and Steve Sheldon.

Mom Joyce had a soft side and a gentle touch along with many good qualities, but also could be a force to contend with. She learned, as she put it, from “The School of Hard Knocks,” to be a tough little lady.

Born in Rome, Italy, and being raised during WWII, Joyce was pulled out of school when she was in the second grade. She was put on a touring train by her mother, (an actress, singer and prima ballerina) and that’s where and how she learned to act. Joyce hated the lifestyle, and ran away from home at age 16 and never returned.

The beautiful former Italian starlet was a kind soul that loved all animals, especially cats. She came to America on a ship through stormy seas and was whisked off to Ellis Island, the screening center for all undocumented immigrants entering the U.S. at the time. She was detained on the island overnight in an immigration mix-up, even though she had gone through all the educational requirements, the proper channels and had prepared diligently to become a citizen.

Her story ended up in The New York Daily News. A huge picture of her face was in the center of the front page. It was the headline. (Much simpler times back then.) She never made a big deal of it, and we only found out many years later when she mentioned it to us as teenagers.

Mom was a sweet soul who told us of the wonders of seeing The Statue of Liberty in person for the very first time. “How we all cried!” she said.

She never capitalized on her past fame nor did she pursue a career in acting. She truly hated showbiz because she said it was filled with “vipers and cold nasty people,” yet she still loved her movies, TV and game shows, a dichotomy. Joyce was also an avid jazz fan, enjoyed the music of Stan Kenton, Pat Metheny, Earth, Wind and Fire, The Doobie Brothers, America, and Michael McDonald. She loved car racing and was fascinated by airplanes.

Even at a very young age, Joyce was a quick learner, an avid reader and learned three languages. A self-taught woman she was able to pass her cosmetology test to become a beautician in her prime, and later even opened two beauty salons of her own. Always regretting being denied a proper education, Joyce studied hard and proudly got her GED at the age of 55. She joined St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Metuchen, N.J. and was also a regular attendee at Faith Evangelical Lutheran Church in New Port Richey, Fla.

Joyce was the consummate consumer. She loved her gadgets and whenever you needed anything - and I mean anything, most likely she had it or would offer to run to the store to get it for you.

For a time, Joyce was “The coolest mom on the block.” She always wanted peace, love and what was best for the people in her life and the world. She was always generous and sharing…yet there was shyness, almost aloofness about her, and it was hard to get to know the “real” Joyce. It took her family a long time to realize the toll her childhood had taken upon her.

But no matter what, no matter how much she was frustrated with her children, at times, and with people in general, she always retained that gentle loving side in the end. She said that earlier in her life she had been very sensitive and naïve, but through many tears, she grew a thick skin.

Although she herself was socially handicapped at times with certain people and situations, she always cared about appearance, was a decent lady and taught her family to be polite, and socially acceptable people.

She did the absolute best she could with what she had to work with and her kindness and love would often shine in all our lives.

We loved her very much and she’ll be dearly missed.

Joyce will be honored by her family with a private ceremony.